How To Help Your Teen Recover From An Eating Disorder
Having a child with an eating disorder can be simply terrifying. As a parent or caretaker, you likely feel confused, worried, and perhaps helpless about your teen’s eating disorder. Keep reading - there is hope!
We want you to hold two important truths about eating disorders simultaneously:
1. Eating disorders can be dangerous conditions, and are the most fatal mental condition that we know of - second only perhaps to Substance Abuse Disorder.
2. Full recovery is absolutely possible, especially with the right professional support and care at home. We witness clients’ recoveries all the time!
Take this seriously and, at the same time, don’t lose hope. Your teen is resilient and capable, and so are you.
We are going to give you plenty of specific tips and tools, some light education, and loads of encouragement. You being here is a sign that you care very much, and are actively looking for support, information, and ideas to support your child.
Some Quick Eating Disorder Info
Eating disorders are serious mental health conditions that can affect people of any age, body size, race, or gender. In fact, research suggests that eating disorders are most common among adolescents, particularly girls, as well as teens who identity as LGBTQIA+. If you suspect that your teen may be struggling with an eating disorder, it’s important to act quickly to get them the help they need.
Recovery is typically a long-term process, and requires specialized treatment. That’s because eating disorders are multifaceted, complex, and are interwoven within every part of a person’s being, life, and identity. Not to mention that our culture tends to reinforce or even applaud them. Eating disorders can also evolve over time, presenting with different and changing symptoms.
Treatment commonly looks like working with a specialized therapist, dietitian, and medical provider. There are many treatment options, and figuring out the right approach can be an overwhelming process. You can read more on our FAQ page and this blog post: The Best Eating Disorder Treatment Modalities.
The ACED team is an inclusive group of specialized therapists and dietitians in Austin, Texas, who can help your teen to heal. We are here to help virtually or in-person.
We’re here to help. Schedule your complimentary 15-20 minute phone consultation to find out if the ACED team could be a good fit for you. If you’re ready, we’ll match you with your dream team.
Tips to Help Your Teen to Recover from an Eating Disorder
Recognize the signs
The first step in helping your teen recover from an eating disorder is to recognize that they are struggling. Eating disorders come in many forms and can be difficult to detect, but there are some common signs to watch out for. These may include:
Significant and fast weight loss or gain
Obsessive calorie counting or tracking behaviors
Pouring over nutrition labels
Strict food rules
Preoccupation with body shape and size
Skipping meals or eating in secret
Excessive exercise
Secretive eating behaviors
Mood swings or irritability
Social withdrawal, depression, anxiety
Going to the bathroom directly after meals
Laxative abuse
Extreme guilt or shame for eating “imperfectly” or out-of-control
Intense emotions or emotional shutdown
If you notice any of these signs in your teen, it’s important to speak with them with care about your concerns, and seek professional help.
2. Seek professional help
Like we stated earlier, specialized treatment is a must, if it is accessible to your family. Your teen needs a space space to talk about everything that is going on with them in therapy, and to work out all the specific food stuff in nutrition therapy. We also recommend working with an ED-informed medical practitioner to monitor things like health concerns, vitals, and bone density.
3. Learn Tools & Skills to Encourage Recovery
In addition to professional help, there are many things that parents can do at home to help their teen recover from an eating disorder. IMPORTANT! Getting education and parent coaching from your teen’s treatment team is the best information you can get and is more important than the following list. These tips are broad, general tips, and they won’t work for every family.
Encourage regular meals and snacks: Help your teen establish a regular eating routine, including three meals and two to three snacks per day.
Involve the teen in meal planning and preparation to give them a sense of autonomy.
Provide structure and routine around meals, including regular meal times and consistent meal components.
Encourage the teen to eat a variety of foods from all food groups.
Avoid commenting on the teen's weight or appearance always, and especially during meals.
Provide emotional support during meals, such as non-judgmental care, reassurance, positive feedback, and distraction.
Address any resistance to eating, or purging behaviors, in a calm, caring, and non-judgmental manner. If your teen is vomiting after eating or using laxatives, it is imperative to get them specialized treatment. Don’t try to handle this on your own.
Avoid diet talk: Avoid talking about diets, calories, weight loss or gain, body size (yours included) or other topics that might trigger your teen’s eating disorder.
Promote positive body image. Encourage your teen to focus on living in their body rather than living to look at their body. Read up on body image to learn more. Check out these blogs for tips: Part 1 - Improve Your Body Image: 10 Actions to Take to Help Now and Part 2.
Avoid judgmental comments: Avoid making negative comments about your teen’s body or eating habits. Lead with care and active listening to understand what they are feeling.
Use validating, compassionate communication to help your teen feel heard and understood.
Teach your teen to recognize and challenge negative thoughts and beliefs about food, weight, and body image. Weight gain is typical in ED recovery - normalize that. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes - normalize that too!
Encourage them to practice self-care, such as getting enough sleep and engaging in enjoyable activities to help develop their identity outside of their eating disorder.
Encourage developing a support system of friends, family, and professionals who can provide ongoing support.
Set realistic, non-weight-based, non-appearance-related goals and celebrate progress. If your child needs weight restoration, it is imperative to seek professional support.
4. Hold Your Seat (Be Patient)
Recovering from an eating disorder can be a long and trying process, and it’s important for caretakers to be as patient and supportive as possible. Your teen may experience setbacks along the way, and it’s important to normalize this while encouraging continued engagement in their therapy and nutrition counseling. Recovery is a winding road.
Remember that recovery is indeed coming, and the definition of what that looks like is different for everyone. Be patient with yourself and your teen, and celebrate their progress, no matter how small it may seem.
5. Take Care Of Yourself
Finally, it’s important for you to take good care of yourself as well. Caring for a teen with an eating disorder can be emotionally and physically exhausting, and it’s so important to take time for yourself to rest, regroup, refresh, and process the experiences in your own life, body, and emotions. Professional help isn’t just for your teen - it’s for you as well. This can include seeing your own therapist, attending support groups, and asking for support from your trusted people.
Last Piece Of Wisdom
Your teen’s eating disorder is not your fault. Eating disorders are genetic conditions that are passed down in families, and are encouraged by our diet-obsessed culture. It’s true that you likely and accidentally reinforced the eating disorder somehow (it’s impossible not to living in our thin-obsessed culture), emphasis on the word accidental. We know that you love your child and have done everything to care for and protect them. And it’s also true that someone in your life growing up likely reinforced disordered eating and negative body image for you as well. This intergenerational transmission of body shame and trauma is cyclical, is no one’s fault, and can be broken with you and you teen right now. You can do this, and you don’t have to do it alone.
We’re here for You
We are providing specialized eating disorder treatment virtually in Texas at the out-patient level of care. We love to see our clients in-person in Austin, and virtual works if you live in town as well if you prefer it.
References:
Muhlheim, L. (2018). When Your Teen Has an Eating Disorder: Practical Strategies to Help Your Teen Recover from Anorexia, Bulimia, and Binge Eating. New Harbinger Publications.
American Psychiatric Association. (2013). Diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorders (5th ed.).
Eisler, I., Simic, M., Russell, G. F., & Dare, C. (2007). A randomized controlled treatment trial of two forms of family therapy in adolescent anorexia nervosa: a five-year follow-up. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 48(6), 552-560.
Le Grange, D., Lock, J., Loeb, K., & Nicholls, D. (2010). Academy for eating disorders position paper: The role of the family in eating disorders. International Journal of Eating Disorders, 43(1), 1-5.
National Eating Disorders Association. (2022). Learn. Retrieved from https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn.
National Institute of Mental Health. (2022). Eating disorders. Retrieved from https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/eating-disorders/index.shtml.
Legal disclaimer: The ACED team is comprised of mental health professionals licensed to practice in the state of Texas. Reading our blog does not create a therapist-client relationship between us. Our blog is designed for informational purposes only, and is not intended as a substitute for professional care. The contents of this blog should not be used to diagnose or treat illness of any kind, and before you rely on any information presented here you should consult with a trusted healthcare professional. If you are currently experiencing a mental health emergency please call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255.